Am I dumb?

Life is a drama, a continuum not a monotony.. It really exposes you to tasks where you can rediscover yourself, get demoralised at times and get refuelled the other moment. It introduces you to myriad people with a variety of attitudes and behaviourial patterns.
Today I realise, when we say "he/ she was not like this, there is a lot of change in him/her", there is so much truth in these words. Our surroundings, peers force us to change in a way we do not want to. For that matter I have changed a lot from what I was and most often unwillingly. None of us want to show our evil part or become harsh on anyone unless forced to.. wait... this was what I thought until today. But even when we are good to someone, ready to help, even then do we deserve unkindness, ingratitude??!!! Why would any sane person be eager to help that person a second time?
We humans are utterly deceptive and have the tendency to build a world of falsehood all around us trying to impress every second person with sugar coated words. We often tend to build an impecable image in front of the world(most of whom are just mere aquaintances) even if that means demeaning someone who cares for you.. All that we humans understand is that "I am the best" and even forget to acknowledge the people who helped us and made sacrifices for making us the best. The irony lies in the fact we stoop down to the level of insulting them once our purpose is fulfilled.
I did not expect huge words of praises or gratitude form her, but neither did I expect(or rather deserved) to be hurt.. I feel offended, used and disgusted. Why did I volunteer to help, I feel guilty now.. It's a feeling I can't properly describe.. Am I so dumb that people can use me as and when they want!! Have I lost all my self respect!! Why should I help anyone anymore when they can't appreciate it!! Has friendship become so lowly!! Such eerie thoughts are haunting my mind.. I think I am flabbergasted or rather bruised, perhaps actually confused..
But one thing's sure, people have become smarter and smart enough to take advantage of goodness. But what they don't realise is that the goodness could become evil as well and a hurt kind heart becomes revengeful and repulsive and the kindness disappears thereafter.
You hurt me, I helped you in vain,
O dear aqauintance, I wish I can call you a friend again..

Can I have some sleep, please?

I have turned selfish, I know and I realise that. But with a new phase in life, it is not easy to cope up with the newer challenges that life has to offer. Better place, better people, better experience this is was what I had expected here at IIT(so called the premiere teaching institute of India), but wait did I expect just too much!! At this point, with a tired mind, eyes longing for sleep, I, in a tumultuous state definitely feel that I had actually imagined and desired for too much. It is dawn. Beautiful and serene around me. But I am weeping, craving for sleep, for rest, for little kindness and humanity.
The institute definitely has no flaws. But I realise the world has grown too mean and gross. People have lost the minimum amount of caring attitude towards the world. The situation has come to this point that people would dance and sing aloud if they wished to do so regardless of the fact that someone(tired after a long day) is trying to have a sound sleep. I have always believed that If you cannot give someone happiness, then at least do not give the person pain. Why do mortals forget that whatever they do would return to them at some point in the future? It is really getting tough on my part having to cope up with so many, I would say inconsiderate and rather "professional"(if I could use the term) people. But I guess it is the same everywhere.
My incoherent style of writing(which I am sure you all are able to make out) clearly depicts how I have been trying to get myself some sleep, some peace in the most unfavourable condition that you can imagine. What is even worse is the fear that eventually I will also lose all the kindness and humanity that I have with lot of difficulty preserved till now(though some part of it is already lost).
I am not the kind who can revolt for everything which is not my favour(and I guess people take advantage of this fact). But I wish they could just realise the fact that they maybe in the same situation some day or the other day and alas, then even I would not want to help them. I really wonder how can people and especially the female race get so inconsiderate!!?? Or am I insane that before doing anything I tend to visualise how I would feel put in the same situation as the other?
What I am talking of may seem to be a small personal problem, but looking at the wider picture, it is all the more worse.. If people cannot show a little concern in their daily life, Lord save the world then.. Professionalism is making us smart in one way and killing the softer part in us on the other hand. No wonder, just like our Indian population, social conflicts are on a rise. We are blindly and selfishly moving towards success but we need to halt for a while. We need to check whether the part of our character that we are compromising with is actually worthwhile! Atleast we can do the bare minimum of taking care of the fact that our actions do not cause a problem for others, at least the people we have to deal with everyday(for maybe a short span of time).
Reading my thoughts, I realise how frustrated I sound. And yes I am hurt, frustrated, annoyed and worse I cannot tell that to the person responsible for it. But I pity her. May God give her some positivity and instill some selflessness in her.
      We are progressing, our morality degrading,
      O dear mortals, slow down!
      Else all smiles will be gone leaving behind frowns...