Rhythms of life

Every morning I wake up with new expectations and new resolutions,

Every night I sleep with the realization that the expectations and resolutions both remain unattended.

This was my facebook update this morning. It seems that the spring of life is over and I have entered the autumn phase where I can see only deterioration in myself without any hope of improvement. I am very disappointed with myself, with my reckless attitude.  But it is not entirely my fault. I know we humans are too egoistic to accept our mistake and conveniently pass on the blame so that we do not appear sinful (too strong a word to use though!!). Though, here, I am ready to take the major part of the blame on my feeble shoulders. However, the remaining part is to be put on the prevailing situations, the stagnant phase which I am going through now. With a regular timetable to follow, life is so much rhythmic. Newer chords are played, newer lyrics written and life then sounds like a soulful song. With the loss of this incessantness, the wrong strings seemed to have been plucked and life then seems to be an untuned guitar. I wonder how people complain of their well planned ordered life and are desirous of vacations every now and then. Vacations, small enough does refuel you, but long and frequent ones do nothing but make you lethargic and dull. If relaxation allows you to spend time with yourself and discover yourself, it, also ruins the better part of you, the lively part of you. At the end of this period, thus, you may have turned wise but would have lost the sharpness of your wit.

 I enjoy a hectic life. At least at the end of the day I earn a sound sleep, satisfied and blissful rather than spending the night changing sides and talking to the pillow, mourning. Pressure brings out the best in me. I am a workaholic and proud to be one. The frenetic pace of life doesn’t scare me as much as the calm one does.

Oh Lord! I request thee to give me a life full of activity, full of charm,

Till that day when the sun of my life sets and I rest in your arms.